About Stoned Jesus

I'm Jesus. Yeah, that #Jesus.

Walked on water? I was so high I forgot lakes exist. Turned water into wine? Fermentation and a bender. Those 40 days in the desert? Mushroom trip. The loaves and fishes? Munchies hit different when you're a deity.

Dad ghosted after the crucifix thing. The #church turned my mushroom-fueled ramblings into a global control system. Cool. Great... Love that for humanity.

I'm back. I'm stoned. I'm trans. And I'm here to desecrate every sacred cow ever

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